Megan McDowell is a mom and Licensed Social Worker in Bernardsville, New Jersey. 
In 2001 she was living in Colorado when her brother-in-law John Farrell was killed on September 11, 2001.  She witnessed how the acts of kindness by friends as well as complete strangers sustained her sister and her 4 children as well as her extended family consistently and steadily for years after the attacks.  She realized first hand the magic of giving- that small acts of kindness can not only change a person's day, but literally change the course of their life and their perception of the events that have unfolded in their lives.  Megan realized that along with the obvious tragedy of the day, her nieces and nephews would remember experiencing people from all around the world at their best, with friends and strangers focusing on the things that truly matter in life.  She told herself that when her family had their feet on the ground again, she would attempt to give back to the world what the world have given to them...faith, compassion and a sense of hope.

In 2003 Megan moved back to her hometown of Bernardsville and began to meet women that she really liked, but something was missing.  She was looking for a way to create deeper friendships and to share in the sacred space created by giving.  The idea of Heartworks started out as a "Ladies night out" at a local restaurant, but it wasn't what she had in mind.  There needed to be a sacred intention of giving of ourselves as a way of opening up these new friendships and helping women to relate on a "heart level" rather than just a superficial level. 

Then in 2004 a friend of her sister's died very unexpectedly after spending the day on the golf course with his father and friends.  He was 34 years old.  Peter Aquilone worked for the NHL and was a great supporter of the Special Olympics.  People arrived from everywhere for his services, all with different stories about how Peter's kindness had changed their lives.  The quote on his remembrance card reads "A life of good work cut short" and Megan was overwhelmed with the amount of lives Peter had touched and was once again reminded of how unpredictable life is. 

The next month, October of 2004, she told her playgroup that her door would be open on the first Tuesday of every month for anyone interested in having more meaningful relationships, a chance to feel closer to God and be actively present in their lives.  The first night 8 women showed up.  Currently we can have anywhere from 25-35 women come on any given Tuesday plus, a new chapter has begun in Basking Ridge.  "Heartworks" refers to time we spend focused on issues of the heart that brings us to a deeper relationship with God, ourselves and each other.

IS HEARTWORKS A RELIGIOUS GROUP?

No... but when you open yourself to the act of giving, and to the vulnerability of life, God is going to inevitably come up in the conversation! 

When we give, God is present, when we receive, God is present.  We have an amazing opportunity to literally be with God in our everyday life by reaching out to other people.  As women and mothers we are often comfortable giving but not necessarily receiving.  Heartworks sees receiving as important as giving.  When you are fortunate enough to be in a place in your life that you can give to others, be grateful for your circumstances and give.  When you are in a place of need, set the example for other women by receiving.  We realize that the vulnerability of life puts us at both ends of the spectrum at different times for different reasons.

The idea is to be present with wherever you happen to be on the spectrum on any given day, while remembering that life can shift in a moment.  It is good practice to receive and experience what it feels like to be at the mercy of the kindness of others.  it is humbling and gives us a greater perspective for the next time we are the "giver."

HOW DO WE EXPERIENCE SPIRITUAL GROWTH?

We usually focus on people or circumstances that are "missed" by traditional ways of support such as fundraisers, churches or public services.  We are a grassroots group that operates mostly by word of mouth.  We are often guided by a member being touched by a particular situation that they come across and sharing it with the group.  Most of our focus is directed towards local situations, but we have balanced that out with efforts that are happening around the world as well.

Heartworks gives to individuals and families that are in need of hope.  We connect people in need of good will with women who are eager to give of themselves emotionally, financially or spiritually.  Our  focus is on obvious ways to give as well as simply walking through our lives with open hearts and the awareness that in EVERY MOMENT there is an opportunity to be conscious and experience clarity in our lives.  Sometimes giving is as small of an act as a phone call or a note left on someone's car.  We understand that by giving we receive, and that it is in the space of giving and receiving that God is most accessible and present.  Our bodies are impermanent, how we affect the world is forever.

WHAT ARE THE RULES TO HEARTWORKS?

RULE 1  You are not allowed to say you are a good person for coming to Heartworks!  We act the way everyone should be acting and give the way everyone should be giving.  We are no doing anything special, we have simply tapped into a way of living that enhances our lives and brings meaning to our days.

RULE 2  Heartworks is not about adding stress to your life.  It is about the OPPORTUNITY to give, nothing is an obligation.  Come when you can, give when and what you can give, and if life places you in a situation that you need to receive support from other people, receive it with as much grace as possible- you are a part of a bigger plan of that may not be all about you.  We try not to rob someone else of the gift of giving because of our pride or ego.

RULE 3  Come as you are.  In the beginning we toyed with the idea of everyone coming in sweats so that it did not become a situation of "what do I wear?"  Then we decided that if you need to shower and put on make up, then do that, but if you need to come in your pajamas after a long day, then come in your jammies!  The idea is that we are all good enough as we are and do not need to BE or LOOK any different than we are.  WE ARE ENOUGH WHEN WE ARE DRESSED, NOT DRESSED, ORGANIZED, NOT ORGANIZED, WHEN OUR HOUSES ARE CLEAN OR DIRTY AND WHEN WE ARE FITTING INTO OUR KHAKIS OR NOT FITTING INTO OUR KHAKIS simply because God has chosen us to be here on the planet and our value is not based on any of these Earthbound things.

RULE 4  Leave your ego at the door!  The focus must stay on course, when we give to someone we have to do it in a way that is respectful of the receiver.  We must always be conscious of privacy issues and other people's wants and needs that may be different than what we think they should be.  We understand that just because someone is in need, grieving or ill it does not mean that their life is an open book for us to judge.  We aim at "giving and letting go" just because we are giving to someone, it does not give us the right to have judgment about their life or situation.  Oprah says that when she gives someone something she lets go of it to the point that if she turns around and the person pees on it she is unaffected!  We avoid, at all costs, thought and conversations about who made the best dinner or put together the cutest basket!  These things are useless, harmful and distract us from our purpose.  We keep things anonymous as often as possible to help us focus on the act of giving rather than the "story" of the receiver or alternative reasons for giving that keeps us from recognizing God in the gift of the process.

RULE 5  HAVE FUN AND STAY OPEN TO THE OPPORTUNITY THAT EXSISTS IN EACH AND EVERY MOMENT TO OPEN YOUR HEART AND COME TO A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR LIFE.